Tiny Universe
by tinyuniverse
Summary: Brittana, AU. Told in third person but from Santana's perspective. Santana and Brittany become friends at the beginning of Junior year at McKinley, and Santana slowly realizes her true feelings. This isn't all smut, and it isn't all innocent. It's real.
1. Chapter 1

**July 2010**

Vacation in upstate New York had been more fun than Santana expected. Her step-dad's family were much more pleasant than he was, and their seemingly endless supply of fresh New York Italian pastries kept her smiling. She liked that no one here assumed Rocco was her dad. Sure he had that tan skin and dark hair like Santana, but the thought of sharing his DNA made her want to hurl. She didn't have to explain that her little sister was actually her half-sister, and that she really had no relation to Rocco at all, but somehow the family managed to still make her feel welcome. It was a relief to be around people who didn't expect answers from her.

She sat staring at her computer screen during some down time. Mom, Rocco, and the little one were somewhere; she didn't care where.

_Tess is 'online.'_

The notification got Santana's attention. She had barely talked to her best friend all summer and they finally found some time to chat.

Santana went to type "Hey" but before she hit send, she added an exclamation mark. Simple change, but it made all the difference. For all Tess knew, Santana was jumping for joy at the chance to talk with her. In reality, Santana was oddly indifferent.

They exchanged pleasantries and caught each other up on life. Tess had spent a month in her hometown, where her boyfriend happened to live, so the conversation ended up being full of _Joe and I had sex here and there and everywhere while our parents were gone! Isn't that hilarious?_

Santana finally realized why she was okay with spending a whole summer away from her best friend. Everyone always told her she should find a new crowd, and that Tess was a self-centered bitch — their words, not hers — but Santana insisted that she could see the best in Tess. She was rough around the edges, but nobody knew her like Santana did. They didn't know what she'd been through.

Santana finally got a chance to tell Tess all about the cute family friend from Italy staying with them. His name was Fabrizio and he was absolutely gorgeous. He spoke perfect English, but had just enough of an accent to sound like an angel. Santana told Tess how they made out a few nights back in the backyard, hidden by trees while the family played Pictionary.

_Tess: That's it?_

_Santana: Is what it?_

_Tess: You just made out?_

_Tess: I thought it was going to be a juicy story._

_Tess: Whatever. I guess that's fun too…_

Santana panicked. She was 16 and was still a virgin. She remembered talking to Tess the day she lost her virginity over a year ago. She remembered Tess talking to other, more experienced girls right in front of her about sex like it was some secret language she couldn't understand. It was lots of, "Isn't it weird when they…" and "Oh my god, I almost sprained my ankle when he…" and then they would look at her like she was a first grader with precious virgin ears that needed to be preserved. She couldn't take it anymore.

_Santana: Well, I also slept with him._

_Tess: YOU WHAT?_

What did she just do? She couldn't believe that she really hit send. It took all of seven seconds to tell the biggest lie she had ever told and Tess was actually taking it seriously.

_Tess: Tell me everything!_

Tell her everything? Santana quickly thought back to every time she heard Tess talking about sex with Joe and any innuendo from Friends or That 70's Show that she could possibly remember, and she ran with it. She told this grand story that left off from the making-out-behind-a-tree scene, in which Fabrizio swept her off her feet and in a moment of romance and passion they decided to go for it. She seemed to do a good job of it because Tess was practically swooning over iChat at all the details.

They wrapped up the conversation and told each other to say hi to their families for them. Santana knew she wouldn't pass along the message, but promised she would anyway. Santana's mom was never fond of Tess and they often got into heavy arguments over the girl. Santana knew a simple, "Tess says hi," would lead to "Why are you spending vacation time with your family talking to that freeloader who does nothing but fuck her boyfriend and act like a bitch?" Santana's mom wasn't usually one to swear or say such things about teenaged girls, but something about Tess always threw her over the edge.

Santana closed her computer and fell back onto the bed, completely exhausted.

"What did I just do?"

* * *

><p><strong>September 2010<strong>

Junior year was going great. She would spend lunch in the debate room with her friends and a few minutes after school with Tess, causing as much trouble as those ten minutes allowed. Her mom made a point that she wasn't allowed at Tess's house anymore and insisted on picking her up as soon as possible, minimizing their time together significantly.

Santana got into her mom's car one day, completely exhausted. They drove in silence while Santana tried to ease her headache from the day.

Finally, her mother spoke. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just have a headache."

"Okay. Do you need an asprin? I think I have some in the back—"

"No mom, I'm fine. Thank you though. I just want to rest for a minute."

Santana got a few seconds of peace before her mom spoke again.

"Are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"Yes Mom, I'm fine," she bit back.

"Don't use that tone with me. Do not use that tone young lady. I do too much for you to deserve that backtalk."

"I wasn't talking back to you, mom. I just have a headache and want some quiet."

"And I would like to pick my daughter up and not have to deal with this attitude. I swear it's Tess. Ever since you started hanging out with her you've started turning into her."

That was it. Santana could put up with a lot of things, but not people demeaning the people she cared about. Her mom didn't know the first thing about Tess because Santana kept her word that she wouldn't tell a soul about her secrets, and it made conversations like this particularly hard to handle.

Santana clenched her jaw and gripped the seatbelt across her chest that she had already been holding onto. She knew if she just apologized and ignored the headache, her mother would stop.

She opened her eyes and looked at her mother. "I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just have a lot of homework tonight and I got stressed. It won't happen again."

"It's okay sweetie. Is there anything I can do to help you relax? Maybe I'll make you some tea when we get home?"

Santana smiled to herself. She knew her mom was sweet at heart. She could be snappy and feisty when pushed a little too far, but underneath it all she was really one of the kindest people Santana knew.


	2. Chapter 2

**September 2010 (cont.)**

Santana walked from her mom's car towards the main campus building. There was still a trace of summer in the midst of everything else that screamed autumn. Every tree on the way to school sported hundreds of different reds, browns, and yellows that Santana didn't even know existed. One tree in particular caught her eye. It was the last tree she passed before she stepped on the pavement neat the front doors. She felt so small beside it, but when she stepped back, the tree looked like a baby next to the tall school building. Then she thought the building probably looked small compared to the Mall of America or something awesome like that. She thought standing next to the basketball boys made her look small, but she never felt so insignificant.

_Snap out of it_, she thought. _Get your ass to homeroom before someone sees you staring at a tree like a moron_.

She didn't have any classes with Tess this semester, which was a real bummer. School sucked even with Tess to keep her distracted, but without her it was straight torture. Still in her psychedelic thought process about her relationship with the universe, she decided to spend Spanish class wondering why high school was such hell. She was already more proficient than the teacher, Mr. Schue, so she figured spacing out was entirely appropriate.

Why does high school suck so much lately? Well for one, the teachers paid such little attention that Santana had managed to listen to music through headphones for an entire class period, openly ignoring the lecture, and the only person who noticed was Li, the foreign exchange kid sitting next to her. Santana was smart; she liked taking challenging courses, and McKinley was desperately lacking in that area.

She continued to make a list in her head. She almost laughed when she realized that one thing she hated was that their sports teams were terrible. She did not like sports, nor did she really know anything about them, but she thought it would be fun to sit in the stands with some friends cheering for a winning team. She realized she had never done that before — you know, been on the winning side.

She always picked the line that took longer than the other at the grocery store. She always happened to root for the person on Project Runway that designed the most hideous outfit that week. Even during the Olympics, the one time she tried guessing the winner beforehand, the guy came in fourth — no medal, no glory.

Yeah, being on the winning side sounded like a kickass idea.

She pictured being at a football game with "Titans" painted on her face and basking in victory with everyone else in the stands. Santana then saw that her imagination forgot to put Tess in that picture. When she hugged her friends in celebration, they were the friendly acquaintances she talked to during lunch or in line waiting for her mom after school.

Santana finally concluded that class with Tess didn't make school enjoyable, it was just a distraction.

The bell rang.

"Okay classe, practice your verbs for the test mañana!" Mr. Schue said with much more enthusiasm than the sentence warranted. Santana got up from her desk and made her way out the door toward her locker.

Halfway down the hall, Santana's friend Nick caught up with her.

"Hey there," he said with a cheery skip in his voice.

"Oh, hey Nick. How was Euro? Do we do anything today?"

"Huh? Oh, no. Just some stupid worksheet. I slept for, like, half of it."

Santana laughed a little. "Nice. I basically did the same in Spanish just now. I genuinely think someone taught Schuester that adding 'o' to the end of a word makes it Spanish."

They made it to their lockers. Santana's was in between Nick and Tess, but Tess must have already gotten her stuff for her next class. She started turning her locker combination when she noticed Nick leaning his shoulder against his locker, staring at her with a smile that made her uncomfortable.

"Did someone put pixie sticks in your nonfat-mocha-soy-chai-venti-frap-whatever you like to sober up with every morning? What's with the smile?" She said, trying to keep her cool even though she had no reason to not be cool.

"How was he?"

"How was who?"

"The Italian stud, Fabio or whatever."

Santana froze. Nick smiled even wider.

"He was great."

"Oh yeah?" He scooted in closer like they were sharing top secret intell, but his voice stayed the same slightly-louder-than-normal volume. "How big was his—"

"Okay cowboy, you can stop right there. How did you even know?"

"Tess. Duh. Who else would've told me?"

"I don't know… Did you tell anyone else?"

"I told Tracy, but I don't think she'll tell anyone. After Rick the Stick forwarded her dirty pictures to the whole school, she's pretty sensitive about keeping secrets."

"I'm still mad I didn't get those." Santana thought about redirecting the conversation back to her 'best friend' betraying her privacy, but decided she'd better not.

"Wait, you _want_ to see Tracy's pancake nipples? Gross."

"No, I don't want to see them like _that_. I just feel left out, you know? Like, why didn't anyone think I'd find that funny? I've been hearing people call her pancake nipples for almost a year now, and I don't even know why everyone thinks it's so funny because apparently I'm not cool enough to see Tracy's grody sexts to Rick the Douchebag."

They hadn't noticed that everyone around them had gone to class and the hallway was empty. The bell rang, signaling the end of passing period.

"Oh eff," they said at almost the exact same time. Not even taking a moment to laugh at each other, they went their separate ways to their next classes.

* * *

><p>Santana spent European History class staring at the worksheet her teacher had handed out. She wasn't even reading it, but she refused to look away, afraid to make eye contact with anyone in the room. It would give her away too easily.<p>

She was completely dumfounded that Tess, of all people, would spread a story like that about her. Santana felt bad enough about telling the lie in the first place, but neither of them mentioned it after Santana pretended to be heartbroken over losing Fabrizio. She thought she had cut the cord.

Nope.

The more Santana thought about it, the more she felt anger pit in the bottom of her stomach. Tess was the mayor of Secret City, USA. Santana knew so much about her that she could probably get her expelled, kicked out of her home, and possibly arrested with a little embellishment. The difference was, Santana would never tell these secrets to anyone. She made a promise not to, and they weren't hers to tell.

Tess clearly didn't have the same understanding of privacy, and Santana was starting to wonder if her mom was right. Maybe Tess wasn't the great friend Santana thought she was.

Santana assumed that enduring the tragedies that Tess had gone through automatically made someone a good person. She thought it somehow exempted them from being responsible for their behavior. If Tess chose to act like the kind person she sometimes was, Santana was amazed at her strength. If Tess acted like a victim to everything, Santana wrote it off because deep down Santana saw Tess as a victim and nothing more. She didn't know how to hold a victim responsible for their actions without being disrespectful to how much they've suffered.

* * *

><p><strong>October 2010<strong>

Santana took a moment by her tree — she had now deemed it _her_ tree — as she did every morning these days, to wonder when she could stand by something beautiful and not feel like a gross ant under a microscope by comparison. Maybe someday, she thought. Maybe someday.

Santana wasn't sure how to approach Tess about her conversation with Nick a few weeks prior, but Tess seemed to be making that decision for her. Santana almost never saw Tess by their lockers anymore, and since they didn't have any classes together, that pretty much only left lunch and those ten minutes after school.

Even those were starting to go away. Tess would say stuff like "I have Key Club at lunch today. See you tomorrow." She wouldn't even give an excuse for not hanging out after school. She would just say, "See you tomorrow," and let Santana quietly get the hint.

Santana didn't mind actually. The more time she spent away from Tess, the more time she got to spend with those acquaintances she had mingled with over freshman and sophomore year.

None of them took over as "best friend" and no one asked why she wasn't Tess's sidekick anymore. They didn't acknowledge Tess at all. They just wanted to get to know Santana.

* * *

><p><strong>Alright, so just a few notes.<strong>

**1. I'm on Spring Break right now, so hopefully I'll get a lot of chapters written so updates can be more frequent. Also awesome.**

**2. For anybody wondering, I'm not going to reveal Tess's dirty secrets. Tess is based off of a real person in my life, and like Santana, I will go to my grave honoring my promise to never tell a soul. I will say that for the most part, Tess is indirectly related to the events. They are things she witnessed happening around her, and sometimes because of her, but only a select few moments actually involve her directly.**

**Thanks for reading! More chapters soon :) Now go do something incredibly nice for someone you love, for no reason. You'll feel like Mother Teresa, and I don't know about you but I think feeling like Mother Teresa would be a wonderful experience. Now we're just getting off topic. Ta ta for now!  
><strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**October 2010 (cont.)**

Santana sat in her room getting ready. The sun had just gone down for the night, and the people who built her house forgot to install a light in the ceiling, so she relied on her desk lamp to put on her eyeliner. To be honest, she didn't really care how she looked. She was just keeping busy until it was time to leave.

It was Friday, and Santana hadn't spoken to Tess since Tuesday. She genuinely didn't know who was responsible for the sudden 'growing apart' phase that they were going through, but she wasn't hung up about it. She was happier during the past few days. A little lost, but happier.

Santana didn't like not having a best friend. Eating lunch with friends and joking around in class with the same people everyday was nice, but it wasn't the same. It was like she lived seven different lives everyday for one hour each. It was like hour-long TV shows with a new episode everyday. European History Santana was tired and found pleasure in watching the girl next to her play zombie computer games all class. Precalculus Santana held back laughter when boys whispered _that's what she said_ every time her teacher unknowingly said anything remotely sexual. Physics Santana was fascinated every time her teacher would spend thirty minutes on a tangent about time travel and theoretical physics.

"Mami! Are you ready to go soon?" Santana yelled from upstairs. The clock said 6:07 and the McKinley homecoming game started at 6:30.

"Si, let's go!"

She put her makeup away and took one last look in the mirror propped up on her desk. _Not bad_, she thought. _Not enough to draw attention, good or bad. Perfect._

She made her way downstairs and grabbed her purse off the dining room table. They got in the car and drove off.

Santana watched houses pass by her window, one by one. Every now and then she would lock focus on one particular house, letting it pass by slower than all the others. She let herself get lost in the same daze that seemed to take over every waking moment lately.

Santana looked over at her mom, who looked just as lost in thought. "Hey, mom?" she asked. Her mom, Gloria, looked at her in response. Santana didn't see any irritation in Gloria's eyes, and felt free to continue. "I decided I'm going to find new friends tonight. I want to get a new group, away from Tess. I figure that's not going to happen unless I make it happen." A little smile crept up on Gloria's face, but Santana didn't see it. She had already turned to look out the windshield in front of her. She was nervous, but didn't know why.

Gloria put her hand on Santana's shoulder. "I think that's a great plan!"

"Thanks, mom." Santana smiled. She was embarrassed, which she thought was a natural thing for a child to feel around their parent, but proud of herself at the same time.

They finally got to the parking lot next to the McKinley football field. Kids were piling out of cars and walking toward the bleachers by the dozens. Some had their faces painted; some were carrying signs. Santana almost laughed at them all. It was like they thought their enthusiasm could suddenly make the football team talented.

"Mija, text me every now and then to let me know you're okay, and give me about a twenty minute warning for when you want me to come pick you up."

"Okay, mami." Santana opened her car door and started stepping out.

"Oh! And good luck, honey!"

Santana grabbed her purse and stood by the door. "Thanks," she said, half laughing. Santana closed the door and started toward the ticket booth bear the entrance.

* * *

><p>Santana paid for her overpriced water at the snack bar and threw in a few pixie sticks at the last second. She swore they were staring at her, begging her to break that stupid diet she had put herself on.<p>

By the time she made it to the base of the bleachers, the McKinley Titans were already losing. It was two minutes into the first quarter, inning, whatever, and Coach Ken was already pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head in disappointment.

The stairs leading to the bleachers were more crowded than the actual seating area, so she decided to make her way toward the fence surrounding the field. It was right between the field and the bleachers, which usually gave an uncomfortably up-close-and-personal view of couples making out (and doing God knows what else), so it was pretty vacant.

As she was walking, she saw that girl from her European History class who was always playing zombie games. She was the first person Santana felt comfortable hanging out with, and everything felt like it was falling into place. Santana said she was going to make new friends, and here was someone she truly didn't mind being around. The universe was lending a hand, and she wasn't about to ignore it.

"Hey, Quinn!" She called as she walked toward her.

Quinn turned around and smiled. "Hey, Santana. What's up?"

Santana stepped within a few feet, and looked around to see if anyone was listening. Well, really she was looking to see if Tess could here. She was nowhere to be found.

Santana stepped closer, and Quinn mirrored her with intrigue. Santana said quietly, "I don't really want to be friends with Tess anymore. Can I hang out with you?"

Quinn smiled knowingly and gave Santana a side hug. "Ahh. I see. Well, I know what that feels like." Santana smiled, remembering Quinn and Tess's subtle and very intentional 'growing apart' phase during sophomore year. She hadn't considered that when she walked over to Quinn, but it made Santana feel even better about her decision. She found someone who understood the crazy that is Tess, and nothing felt better than being aorund someone who knew what she was going through.

"Let me just go make sure everyone else is cool. Don't worry, I'm sure they will be. We just might have to figure who's riding in whose car."

Just then, Santana looked where Quinn had gestured to see two more girls and two guys hanging all over them.

"Where are you guys going?" Santana asked, somewhat hesitantly.

"We don't know yet. Do you wanna come with?"

Santana looked between Quinn and the other four. This was her chance, but if she just got in the car without getting her mom's permission first, that could mean more fighting than she was willing to withstand.

"Let me text my mom real fast." She said while pulling out her phone.

"Oh yeah, for sure. Eff, I should text my mom, too. Thanks for reminding me." Quinn pulled her phone out of her oversized purse and began typing away. "I'll go make sure it's cool with everybody else real fast. Be right back."

Santana nodded while she typed. _Hi mom! Everything's good, don't worry. I think i found a new group of friends :) It's Quinn and a few others. They asked if i wanted to hang out tonight. Can i? Love you._

Santana put the phone away right when she heard Quinn coming back.

"Yeah mom... Yeah, I know... I'm sorry I didn't text you earlier... I know. I know. I gotta go mom. I gotta go. Yup, I hear you mom. Gotta go loveyoubye." Quinn hung up and sighed in relief. She put the phone back in her purse and linked arms with Santana, who was looking at her with a very amused smile.

"Come on." Quinn said, pulling them toward the others by the cars. Quinn was exuding a sense of adventure and it overwhelmed Santana. She always wanted to be fun and spontaneous, but never had the chance. Santana loved that she finally knew what being wild felt like.

"Where are we going?"

"They want to leave now, since we all know the football team is going to lose whether we stay or not."

They made it to the other four. One of the girls was fumbling around for her keys saying she swore she just had them in her hand. One of the guys, with a dark mohawk and an unbelievable jawline, was laughing at his other two friends in front of him. Following his eye line, Santana saw the other two. Well, she really only the guy who had his face buried in the girl's neck, effectively hiding her face. The girl was giggling, though. Santana could tell that much. This girl looked like she was having a better time right now than Santana had ever had in her life. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

Santana turned to Quinn. "My mom didn't say yes yet though. Can we wait a bit and watch the game?" The girl fumbling with her keys, without looking away from her purse, said, "Happy hour at the karaoke place closes at 7:30. We have to leave now if we're going to make it on time."

Quinn grabbed the girl's purse and started looking for the keys. "Rach, are you sure you didn't leave them in the car?"

The mohawk guy rolled his eyes in disbelief. "You guys are idiots. I swiped them five minutes ago right in front of your faces. Pickpocketing you guys isn't fun anymore."

Rachel smacked his arm. "Puck, how many times have I said to stop going through my stuff?"

Quinn handed the purse back over and gave her a look, as if to say, "Calm down, you'll be all right."

Santana checked her phone, hoping to see a text from her mom. Nothing.

Rachel headed toward the driver's seat and Quinn toward the passenger seat. It was a minivan, and as as soon as Rachel sat inside she opened up the sliding side door. Puck and the other two piled in, and Santana followed but stayed outside hoping her mom would text her within the next ten seconds. Again, nothing.

Quinn looked at Santana from the passenger seat through the left sliding door that everyone had just climbed past. "You coming?"

Santana checked her phone one last time. "I don't know. My mom hasn't said yes yet."

Finally, the blonde girl who had been preoccupied with the other guy's lips on her neck looked up. She was smiling and full of life, ready for whatever adventure the night had in store for her.

Santana looked straight into the girl's blue eyes and froze.

"Come on! What's that saying…" the girl looked around at the others, hoping they could read her mind and help her find the right words. Her face lit up and she looked straight into Santana's eyes again. "Oh! Right. In twenty years, don't you want to say you had the guts to get in the car?"

Santana smiled. She looked at the others smiling back and waiting for an answer. She locked eyes with the blonde sitting in front of her. The blonde smiled a little bit wider — which made Santana smile for a reason she didn't feel like understanding at the moment — and at that, Santana climbed in the car and closed the door.


	4. Chapter 4

_Did you know that I usually wake up first in the morning? You have this adorable little habit, where every morning around 6:30 (give or take twenty minutes), you hitch your breath and roll towards me. Sometimes it's your hand brushing my arm that wakes me. Sometimes it's your knee slightly digging into my thigh. If I'm lucky, it's the tip of your nose touching my shoulder. I'll lay away until I can't anymore, trying so hard to make sure I remember what you feel like. I focus so much on the part of me that's connected to you, that I almost trick myself into thinking that's the only part of me that exists. You do this thing where you can touch the smallest area on my body, no bigger than the tip of your nose, and every other inch of skin is numb. I swear this makes sense to me. I hope it makes sense to you too, because I guess that means you feel what I feel. I don't think I could explain this to someone who has never been here before._

_Did you know that I love waking up to you playing games on my phone? The second time I wake up every morning — wow, it really has been every morning these days — I crack my eyes open, and I see you playing that game with the jumping ball, because you don't know how to turn the volume down and that's the only game without sound. I love how considerate you are, even if you're tired and it's first thing in the morning. What I love even more than that though, is the smile I get when you realize I'm awake. You put my phone down, scoot over on your side so you're facing me, and say with the biggest grin, "Wanna go get breakfast?" Do you even know what you're doing to me? Do you know how badly I want to reach out and just cuddle with you? Just for a few minutes before we go downstairs and I pretend to be upset about having to get up._

_Leaving you to go back home is the best and worst part of my day. It's the worst because I feel like my heart literally breaks every time I drive away from you. One time I cried, as pathetic as that sounds. It's the best, though, because your goodbye hugs are the most incredible hugs I think anyone has every had. It's the five to eight seconds that I get to hold you the way you deserve to be held, in a way that says how much you are loved. The even more amazing thing about them is that you hold me the same way. You bury your face in my neck and hold me like you don't want me to go, but your face smiles the whole time. I can't tell if you're smiling because those moments aren't nearly as heart-wrenching for you as they are for me, or if it's because that beautiful heart of yours wants to spare me from seeing you in as much pain as I'm in. Either way, those hugs make it hard for me to breathe.  
><em>

_Brittany S. Pierce, you're the reason I wake up twice every morning. I can't imagine my life without you._

_I love you with all my heart._

_-Santana_

Brittany folds the letter back up and puts it in her pocket. She can't tell if she's happy or sad. Well, to be honest, she's mostly just confused.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys! Okay so I'm going to Coachella this weekend, which meant no update for at least a week. I thought I'd post this little snippet so there could at least be some activity on the story. I originally planned to have this be the beginning to a longer chapter, but I figured I could let it stand alone for now.<strong>

**Also, you can follow me on Tumblr at amnichols93! (the blog is called Tiny Universe, so there you go haha)**

**I hope you all have a wonderful wonderful wonderful weekend! Go be unicorn, or maybe a bicorn :)**


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